Hey Ya’ll! Welcome to the Raw Food Rednecks! Come on in and take a load off. I’m happier than a tornado in a trailer park that yer here. Now, let’s get down to the nitty-gritty…..
1 – What the heck is a Redneck?
Well, a long, long time ago, the word ‘redneck’ referred to the farmer who spent all day in the fields tending to his crops, creating what some call a ‘farmer’s tan’. Tan?#@/! Hell fire, I call it ‘burnt to a crisp’!
I thought the word ‘redneck’ was an eye-catchin name for this here site, and in using that name, I wanna praise those farmers who sacrificed their blood, sweat, tears, and sunburns for growing fresh raw food for their kinfolk and community!
2 – What in tarnation is Raw Food?
Raw food, for the sake of stupid, is basically fruits and vegetables (click here for more details). That is, fruits and veggies that yer woman has NOT yet burned in the pot. When they’re fresh from the dirt, plants are packed with nutrients! Did you know you can be convicted of murder for cookin? Yup, that’s what I heard. Killin them vitamins, minerals, and enzymes in your food may give you a death sentence! Them smart folks call it names like diabetes, and uh, what’s that big un…CANCER!
7 – Hold on tight, she’s a kicker! Yee-haw!
Supposen you start eatin these fruits and veggies. I better warn ya. Some folks are surprised by the extra get-up-and-go they get from chowing on more live fruits and veggies. Our response to that is, well, DUH! You are what you eat! Start eatin them fruits and veggies, and before you know it, you’ll be busier than a one-legged man at a butt kickin’ contest!
Now, I’m no doctor, just in case you a few beers short of a six-pack. But yeah, I’m tryin to sweet talk you into eatin healthier. Good doesn’t always mean good for ya. So remember, food in a cardboard box equals you in a pine box, and that’s the cold, hard truth (ha, ha *ahem).
D – Now don’t pitch a fit! I’m not going to leave ya high n dry…
So ya know, nowadays, they got some really cool gadgets out there ta make eating raw foods a lot more interesting. Now, now, you might be thinkin, “Hey redneck, them gadgets are for high cotton folks.” There’s where I’ma stop you in yer tracks on your train to Poutyville. Where there’s a will, or Granny with a willow stick, there’s a way! N like Pa always said, “Excuses are like backsides. Everybody’s got one and they all stink.”
I did some huntin, and I managed to scrounge up lots of information for ya to read, just to make this a little easier on ya. So, have a glass of sweet tea (that is…green tea wid honey), poke around a bit, and I’m sure hopein ya enjoy your stay. If you’re lookin for something in particular, shoot me one of them electronic mailers and I’ll be happy to help any way I can. Alright now, I’ll be seein’ you’uns. God bless!